NEW MOM STRUGGLES
Guilt about me-time/self care
Negative feelings about baby and being a mom
No positive feedback in the mothering
High expectations – need to do it perfectly and sensitive to criticism
LOOK TO HIM AS YOUR ULTIMATE GUIDE AND PARENTING RESOURCE:
ISAIAH 40:11 HE WILL FEED HIS FLOCK LIKE A SHEPHERD. HE WILL CARRY THE LAMBS IN HIS ARMS, HOLDING THEM CLOSE TO HIS HEART. (He will gently lead the mother sheep with the young)
PROVERBS 3:5-6 TRUST IN THE LORD WITH ALL YOUR HEART; DO NOT DEPEND ON YOUR OWN UNDERSTANDING. SEEK HIS WILL IN ALL YOU DO AN HE WILL DIRECT YOUR PATHS.
PSALM 28:7 THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH AND MY SHIELD; MY HEART TRUSTS IN HIM AND I AM HELPED
ISAIAH 40:29-31 HE GIVES POWER TO THOSE WHO ARE TIRED AND WORN OUT; HE OFFERS STRENGTH TO THE WEAK. EVEN YOUTHS WILL BECOME EXHAUSTED, AND YOUNG MEN WILL GIVE UP. bUT THOSE WHO WAIT ON THE LORD WILL FIND NEW STRENGTH. THEY WILL FLY HIGH ON WINGS LIKE EAGLES. THEY WILL RUN AND NOT GROW WEARY. THEY WILL WALK AND NOT FAINT.
– Think of your body like a machine – it needs lots of physical, emotional, and spiritual fuel to function optimally and as it was intended as a mother. How you care for yourself not only affects you but models to fellow family members how to care for themselves.
– Parenting requires that we learn how to operate and function differently – be gentle with yourelf (especially regarding your expectations and accomplishments). This journey is a marathon – not a “sprint”.
– Avoid using old “metrics” to measure yourself in this new role. In fact, don’t measure yourself at all! Rely on the Lord to forge your new identity as a mom and understand your new value/worth as a parent.
-Focus on being fruitful versus productive.
PHYSICAL CARE (THIS IS NOT A CHECKLIST OF THINGS “TO DO” – JUST SUGGESTIONS)
EPHESIANS 5:29 NO ONE HATES HIS OWN BODY BUT FEEDS AND CARES FOR IT, JUST AS CHRIST CARES FOR THE CHURCH
NUTRITION: eat good meals and snacks
EXERCISE; as little as 8 minutes of physical activity a day helps
REST: take naps. Have a set bedtime and wake up time if possible
GET A PHYSICAL EXAM AND CHECK THYROID LEVELS
ECCLESIASTES 4:10-12 IF ONE PERSON FALLS, THE OTHER CAN REACH OUT AND HELP. BUT SOMEONE WHO FALLS ALONE IS IN REAL TROUBLE. LIKEWISE, TWO PEOPLE LYING CLOSE TOGETHER CAN KEEP EACH OTHER WARM. BUT HOW CAN ONE BE WARM ALONE? A PERSON STANDING ALONE CAN BE ATTACKED AND DEFEATED, BUT TWO CAN STAND BACK-TO-BACK AND CONQUER. THREE ARE EVEN BETTER, FOR A TRIPLE-BRAIDED CORD IS NOT EASILY BROKEN.
-Connect with others – husband,other new moms, friends, family; don’t isolate
-Allow for feelings, express them appropriately (how and to whom)
-Plan your day (one things in the morning; one in the afternoon; create ‘margin’; allow for quality time)
-Be realistic in your expectations
-Routines help, accomplish some of your day on auto-pilot; establish a “new normal”
-Take a break: read, music, bath
-Nurture your sense of humor; watch, read, share things that make you laugh, attend “cry baby” matinees
-Find a creative outlet: write, scrapbook, cooking, blog
1 PETER 2:2-3 LIKE NEWBORN BABES, LONG FOR THE PURE MILK OF THE WORD, THAT BY IT YOU MAY GROW IN RESPECT TO SALVATION, IF YOU HAVE TASTED THE KINDNESS OF THE LORD.
PHILIPPIANS 4:6 DON’T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING; INSTEAD PRAY ABOUT EVERYTHING. TELL GOD WHAT YOU NEED, AND THANK HIM FOR ALL HE HAS DONE
1 PETER 5:6-7 SO HUMBLE YOURSELVES UNDER THE MIGHTY POWER OF GOD, AND AT THE RIGHT TIME HE WILL LEFT YOU UP IN HONOR. GIVE ALL YORU WORRIES AND CARES TO GOD, FOR HE CARES ABOUT YOU.
-SPEND TIME IN GOD’S WORD – EVEN FOR JUST BRIEF MOMENTS
-MEMORIZE AND MEDITATE ON ONE VERSE PER WEEK
-PUT ON SOME PRAISE MUSIC
-FELLOWSHIP, COMMUNITY, MENTORING RELATIONSHIPS
Keeley Barr says
Love all of the things you posted today but this one especially- I AM my own worse critic. I confessed to my mom while i was in TX that I didnt think I loved Roman enough. I love him of course but it didn't feel like enough. I was expecting a chorus of angels to sing every time I look at him! It seemed like other moms loved their babies more because of the way they showed affection constantly (smothering in my opinion). She said “by who's standards do you not love him enough? do you love him as much as god loves him- no! but you dont know what others feel in their hearts.” and it's true! wow rereading this not sure if it makes sense but anywho I think new moms go through so much but we don't always talk about it for fear of looking “bad”! thanks for sharing 🙂